Son of a preacher man.

So I have a date on Friday with The Scientist. He’s cute and funny and is just nice. The spark isn’t 100% there for me yet but after my last blog post I’m going to give him a chance. I do like him but I have a feeling I’m probably going to be a bit much.

The funniest thing is, is that his dad is a vicar. Can you imagine this going well and me being introduced to a vicar?! I have the worst potty mouth ever! I don’t even deliberately do it, it just slips out. The scientist rarely swears as it is so I have to bite my tongue a lot. But I can see me accidentally saying the worst possible thing.

He does seem super innocent as well so I hope I can corrupt him…I mean open him up a little bit. I think this is why I like him. He’s the opposite to any one I’ve recently spoken to. He’s kind and caring….any way I ll keep you updated!

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Insanity

I read this statement recently that said ‘I love men but I love my sanity more’ and that really resonated with me.

My craziness comes when I actually like someone, my head fucks itself over and issues with self worth and self doubt creep in. Other than the last month this year has been fine as I’ve not let myself get attached, so I guess the solution is carry on doing the casual thing forever? 😦 I guess that works right now as I’m not talking to anyone and the ones I have spoken to I don’t feel enough connection with to take things further.

I’m fully aware it’s also just three and a teeny bit months before xmas and I’m still single so can we all ignore those blogs where I said this was going to be my year and I would fall in love….cringe!

Back at it.

So I'm back to having multiple fun sexy conversations and it's been good for me, even if the deeper connection isn't there yet it's still nice not to be burdened by other people's issues.

I haven't heard from Mr A, I guess it goes to show who he is that he can't even apologise for the last really shitty week. I'm still a little wounded by the fact he wasn't who he made out he was but that's online dating for you, people lie to get what they want.

Anyway, I do have a date planned for the weekend….if we manage to pull this (not him….yet!) off then it will be a very long time coming…..3 years in fact! I ll keep you posted!

Date #17

So Mr A exceeded all expectations in real life! He was everything that I wanted and lots more. 

Date 1 was great and we didn’t even have a proper date, He came back to my house and what can I say? The sex was amazing (all 6 times!) but between all that he’s so fun to chill with. He made me feel relaxed and comfortable. 

I’m not going to say to much now and be all mushy but watch this space I suppose….I’m excited too see what happens! 

You ll do Mr A….you ll most certainly do. 

Soul MATES. 

Over the past month or so due to some major detachment and some other serious shit going down I’ve realised that there’s more to life than online dating. I barely swipe anymore, and I have no enthusiasm talking to tinderfellas. 

Why is this I hear you ask? I realised I’ve already found my soulmate (on a completely non romantic friendship level of course!) actually I have two ( shout out to you mrs Jones!) But I’m going to focus on one today. 

Readers of this blog know who I’m talking about so there’s no need for names, you probably also know what’s happened between us over the years and I ll never be able to explain that part because our friendship is more than that. 

He gets me 100%. He knows I’m a self destructive nightmare, that I feel as though I don’t deserve him so will constantly push him away and will give him a fuck ton of shit but he accepts that, he’s not a walk over though, he frequently puts me in my place and reigns me in he’s the only man who I allow to hand me my bollocks (after a lot of arguing!). 

I’ve had intense friendships with the opposite sex before (I’ve even got the tattoos to prove it!) but this is different. It feels like I have to cherish it and never take it for granted. 

I have to admit our friendship does affect relationships. There’s no telling some people that were just friends. I get asked frequently why we’re not together but it’s never been about that. Our friendship is way more important. Do I compare him to other guys? In all honesty, yes. It’s hard not to! I want someone who’s always there for me like he is, who doesn’t judge me, who accepts my crazy who wants to play ridiculous games and answer silly questions and looks out for me. I also want someone who I would take a bullet for because I know (and he knows!) I would for him. He literally means the world to me and it’s taken me long enough to realise I do to him. Also his hair and fashion sense on a tinderfella would be great but now I’m just being picky! 

Recently sex and dating has become so empty and boring for me. I can’t stand one dimensional sex talk anymore. It’s not fun. But you know what? it’s not important! If I’m meant to fall in love this year that will happen, it’s ok not to get a million messages a day and get thumb burn from all the swiping and you know why? I’m happy and fulfilled with the people I’ve already got in my life, my soulmates. 

So my beloved X is leaving me to go on holiday and I’m bereft. He has left me with one piece of advice ‘don’t get into mischief’…me?! Mischief?! Never! 

I’m not sure what I’m going to do without him, he’s always the person who I go to when things go right/wrong. He’s been there for every tear, rage, smile and orgasm.  He’s been there during a few orgasms as well… Meaning he’s made me cum not he was in a corner watching me….how creepy would that be?!

Aaaannnnyyyywwwwaaaayyyy…hegives really good advice and isn’t afraid to say I told you so. Which annoys me at the time but I need to hear it. Do I always listen? Of course not! Do I wish I had? Yes…most of the time. 

I’ve never really had a friend like him. My best friends live far away and are married with children so it’s nice to have someone day to day to put me on the straight and narrow. 

I think I ll give dating a break when X is gone. I’m a bit wild without him and if it all goes right/ wrong I ll have no one to hug! I’m only talking to one person so it should be easy. 

Oh man it’s going to be a long two weeks….!

If you never try you never know. 

I can’t actually believe I’m writing this right now…actually I can’t believe where I’m writing this from…Kermies bed! He’s asleep. Yes I’m as surprised about it as you all are. Almost a year to the day of our first date and shitloads of history later here we are! 

Let me explain how this happened.  Cosmic ordering works!  I got my man with a beard…Erm no but it’s kinda strange. I don’t let myself think about kermie, it hurts too much (see previous blogs)  He’s the only guy who I’ve ever had actual feelings for from online, but the other night I had a dream about him, then I was casually swiping on tinder and bam his face appears! After this I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Me being a swiping whore I also then saw him on pof…I think the universe was trying to tell me something after literally almost a year without seeing his face then seeing it loads within the space of a few weeks so I messaged him, I was fully expecting him to tell me to fuck off but he replied! Pof turned into whatsapp, turned into voice notes, turned into a 2 hour phone call, turned into this. 

Meeting up was probably the most awkward moment of my life. I’ve literally been sick three times today but after a few drinks we loosened up and we ended back up at his. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen going forward …maybe this was just bonus night? I hope it wasn’t. I’ve had another taste of that penis I can’t believe I’d forgotten about how amazing it was. Actually it’s so amazing I’m going to stop typing and get back on it! 

I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow morning…..worth it!