I feel like I am being the worst girlfriend ever at the moment. Im tired (working 40 odd hours), stressed (facing redundancy) and poorly (probably because I’m so tired and stressed!)
The Scientist is still always there for me and a constant pillar of support and sometimes its overwhelming to deal with. He tells me to give up my job if i’m too stressed and he will support me, if i’m tired he will give me massages and make me dinner (ok i’m a shit wifey and he always makes me dinner!) because i’m poorly he went out last night and stocked up on loads of cold and flu stuff.
I’ve just read this back and ‘overwhelming’ seems negative and I don’t mean it like that its more hard to get used to, i’m used to doing things on my own and making tough decisions but now I’ve realised I would be totally lost without him in my life and I dont know what ive done to deserve him.
I feel like he’s a much better boyfriend than I am girlfriend. He’s pretty much got this whole thing nailed and I still cock stuff up and have to remind myself I’m not on my own anymore. I’ve never met someone whose just so kind and loving and expects nothing in return, take last week for example he cooked me a three course meal to celebrate our 8 month anniversary (8 WHOLE MONTHS!!!!!) and because i was too tired to erm….give him some dessert he didn’t mind and was happy just watching love island and having a snuggle, he even went as far to say if he never got any dessert again he would still love me forever!… not sure I can say the same, I love me some regular pudding!
I’m hoping this is just a temporary thing and that work calms down and I feel better soon. We’re off to Italy next week…. I’M SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!! so hopefully I can relax and chill out and after how amazing The Scientist has been give him all the Gelato he deserves 😉
So I was reading an article about how the honeymoon period in relationships is usually over in six months so does that mean it’s all down hill from now for The Scientist and I?
To be honest I’ve barely even got to the honeymoon period with other relationships let alone get past it so I have no idea what’s going on!
I still feel in the early stages. I’m learning new things about him all the time even though we spend a lot of time together. I always look forward to seeing him at the end of the day.
This week he’s away for 4 days….and I know this pathetic but I’m bereft! Absence does not make the heart grow fonder it just leaves an empty space in our bed.
I feel the same way I did about him at the beginning, the excitement is still there and the sex is still the best ever. I want this feeling to last forever. Yes we have our little routines and we’re not going out every evening being wild and crazy but I love this feeling of contentment. Staying in and watching Netflix and then having amazing sex is the one.
For me the honey moon period is over rated, yes it’s exciting but it’s also filled with nervousness, anxiety and games whilst you’re trying to feel each other out. Give me the feeling of being relaxed and comfortable any time over that!
I realise a lot of you will read this post and think we’re crazy and it’s super fast and maybe you’re right but I’ve never felt happier!
Soooooooo what’s new with me? Nothing much except I’ve asked for a transfer at work so I can move in with The Scientist. No biggie.
I’ve not got a single doubt about moving in with him other than where my hundreds of pairs of shoes will go, I must love him as I’ve been sorting through my stuff ( I’ve lived alone for 7 years so I’ve got a lot of crap!) and already thrown out a few pairs. It was like Sophie’s choice but harder.
I’m sad about leaving work as I love my dysfunctional family there, my friends are scattered about so that’s not a problem and I ll only be an hour away from my family.
I can’t wait to start our lives together.
Last week I turned 33 (fuck me i’m getting on!) The Scientist, X and I went to my favourite beach to celebrate. I get that this is an unconventional threesome considering my well documented past with X but I love The Scientist and want him to get to know the other important man in my life. Not going to lie I was nervous. They are very different so could have been a disaster luckily they got on very well and we had a lovely day. After our beach adventure it was time to meet the family. I don’t speak to my parents and the only family I have in my life are my sister, brother in law and nieces. But luckily they fell in love with him too! My sister is equally as sassy as me and my nieces are even sassier so it could have been a tough crowd. My sister said that he is one of those people who you can’t help but fall in love with. Yep. Completely agree. I was pretty much there on date 2!
I’m going up north in a few weeks to meet his parents, even though I know they’re lovely (I’ve heard them on the phone) I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been about anything ever. I probably don’t make the best first impression. I’m cocky and loud and sweary so I’m going to have to hold all of that back! Wish me luck!
So after an amazing 2 months together and spending the last week at his I finally said those words, those words that I’ve never ever even come close to saying before. I Love you. Well actually it slipped out from him whilst we were being all snuggly and I said it back. I do love him. He makes me feel so different to anyone else. I love spending time with him and I love planning our future together. We’ve now said it a million times to each other (yeah, we’re just that cute!) but I feel it stronger every time we say it.
So yeah that all that’s new with me. The lone wolf is finally in LOVE!
I’m in a reflective mood today, seeing it’s nearing the end of the year it’s got me thinking about the ghosts of dating past, more specifically the types of ghosts.
When I tell my friends about The Scientist, they are all surprised. 95% because I actually have a boyfriend (thanks friends!) and 5% because he’s stable. Stable life. Stable job. Stable family.
I’ve never deliberately gone for bad boys but they have always seemed to find me. Everyone I’ve dated before has issues and are either addicts or drug dealers or you know, drug dealing addicts.
I think like attracts like. Obviously I’m not peddling meth but I am damaged and maybe they can see that in me?
I can remember once when I was chatting to Freckles (chavvy, no home, broke) and the accountant (stable, good job, lots of money.) and we all know who I chose to go on a date with.
Self worth has a lot to do with it. I’ve always gone for wrongens before because that’s all I’ve felt I’ve deserved.
I wasn’t looking for someone like The Scientist but he’s everything I needed. Looks wise he’s obviously my type but personality wise we are so different! He’s laid back, I’m aggy. He’s nice, I’m a shitbag. He’s logical, I’m irrational. He plans, I jump straight in. It still works though.
So things are still going well with The Scientist, actually they are going amazingly well! It just gets better every time I see him and we spend time together. Yesterday I literally had, hands down my best sexual experience ever with him or anyone. Sorry for gushing (literally in this case!) but I guess this is what happens when you have sex with feelings right? Wish someone could have told me about this before.
I know it’s not all about the sex though and it’s all the moments in between bit those are great as well.
I cocked up massively though, we exchanged Christmas presents and me being the grade A bellpiece I am thought it would be funny to get him a kids chemistry set seeing as he’s a scientist after all so there’s me chortling away at my genius and he hands me a slim box, at this moment I’m hoping it’s something lame so I can claw this back but no it’s a beautiful Murano glass rose from Venice. I told him ages ago how I thought glass blowing was beautiful. I was so touched by this. The fact the present was seriously lovely and the fact he had listened to me. I felt so bad though. I got him a chemistry set. A fucking chemistry set. He saw the funny side and got excited about doing experiments with me! Please tell me what I’ve done to deserve him? He also made me a card. A pop up card. Gushing ridiculously hard right now.
We have plans to spend new year together and I really can’t wait to see 2018 in being in a happy and solid relationship. I’m still pinching myself.