It’s a London thing. 

This week I realised that you can fancy someone based off their accent! 

Let’s chat about ‘The Londoner’ he messaged me on OKC, he isn’t my standard type, actually he’s about as far away from hipster wanky guitar player as you can get but he’s started winning me over. 

As soon as we started doing the voice note thing I got seriously fizzy knickers…his accent is EVERYTHING! This dude calls me ‘treacle’ and I love it! He drops ‘having a bubble’ and ‘dig me out’ into conversation and it makes me want to have a tommy tank, especially when he calls me a sort! 

We’ve texted loads on the dog and bone and there’s way more to him than having a nice boat and a cockney accent, this man is an onion with all his layers. He’s holding my attention which is more than I can say for most…or any guy this year! 

So watch this space! 

Soul MATES. 

Over the past month or so due to some major detachment and some other serious shit going down I’ve realised that there’s more to life than online dating. I barely swipe anymore, and I have no enthusiasm talking to tinderfellas. 

Why is this I hear you ask? I realised I’ve already found my soulmate (on a completely non romantic friendship level of course!) actually I have two ( shout out to you mrs Jones!) But I’m going to focus on one today. 

Readers of this blog know who I’m talking about so there’s no need for names, you probably also know what’s happened between us over the years and I ll never be able to explain that part because our friendship is more than that. 

He gets me 100%. He knows I’m a self destructive nightmare, that I feel as though I don’t deserve him so will constantly push him away and will give him a fuck ton of shit but he accepts that, he’s not a walk over though, he frequently puts me in my place and reigns me in he’s the only man who I allow to hand me my bollocks (after a lot of arguing!). 

I’ve had intense friendships with the opposite sex before (I’ve even got the tattoos to prove it!) but this is different. It feels like I have to cherish it and never take it for granted. 

I have to admit our friendship does affect relationships. There’s no telling some people that were just friends. I get asked frequently why we’re not together but it’s never been about that. Our friendship is way more important. Do I compare him to other guys? In all honesty, yes. It’s hard not to! I want someone who’s always there for me like he is, who doesn’t judge me, who accepts my crazy who wants to play ridiculous games and answer silly questions and looks out for me. I also want someone who I would take a bullet for because I know (and he knows!) I would for him. He literally means the world to me and it’s taken me long enough to realise I do to him. Also his hair and fashion sense on a tinderfella would be great but now I’m just being picky! 

Recently sex and dating has become so empty and boring for me. I can’t stand one dimensional sex talk anymore. It’s not fun. But you know what? it’s not important! If I’m meant to fall in love this year that will happen, it’s ok not to get a million messages a day and get thumb burn from all the swiping and you know why? I’m happy and fulfilled with the people I’ve already got in my life, my soulmates. 


Have you ever had a passing thought about someone and then they message you out of the blue? 

This happened earlier this week with Mr Wright II. When our date was cancelled I just blocked him and moved on didn’t give him a second thought until Tuesday when he randomly popped into my head. My head is like a pin ball machine full of random thoughts so I didn’t think anything of it until I was on my way to bed and I got a snapchat notification saying that Mr Wright II had added me. We got to talking again and yes it did lead to sexting. I don’t see a world where we would ever go out because even though he’s super duper hot we clash too much, but Tuesday night was fun and I’m not going complain about someone who looks like a supermodel snapping me their dick. 

The synchronicity thing happens to me a LOT though! So often have I thought about someone and then I hear from them or thought something and it happens. Shame it’s never Tom Hardy hitting me up after I’ve buzzed one out to him but hey ho. I wonder what it’s all about though? I’m not saying I have a sixth sense as anyone that knows me would know I would use my powers for evil! 

I have nothing at all to report online dating wise, not really talking to anyone. I’m going through a stage where I ll talk to someone for a few days and if they don’t capture my attention just phase them out. As I said before I’m not settling for anything less than a really strong connection and I’m sticking to that. 

In the mean time I’m just gonna keep on dreaming of Tom and hope the hope the world syncs us together! 

100 swipes 2017 edition. 

Last year I swiped 100 times on all the different dating sites I’m on to see what site was best and how many hits I got off each. I don’t really remember if I met anyone from doing this but as this is my year of being positive I’m going to try again! I think last time I only liked about 30 out of 500 people…eek! 

So here goes…

Badoo: 1

Ok not the best start….

POF: 2

Erm….I guess that’s double but still where are all the decent men at? 

OKC: 1

Yeah this isn’t funny now. 

Bumble: 1

Oh my god! What is happening?! I haven’t turned picky but literally no one is catching my eye! To be honest I think Bumble has loads of bait accounts because all the men look like total models on there! Ok so finally my old friend…

Tinder: 7

Ok that’s slightly better. I’m trying to be positive here! So out of 500 people I swiped right on a grand total of….drum roll please…12.

You know what? it only takes 1 good swipe anyway. So I definitely think  I’ve swiped my Prince Charming. 

Can I stop fake smiling now? 

On to the next one…or two…or three…maybe four. 

So I’m not going to see Lips again. He was fine but I need more than that. Ironic I called him lips because I preferred chatting to him than sleeping with him! The sex was average ( I take back ‘amazing’ from my last blog about him because I do this thing where I get caught in the moment in a sex daze and my sex googles come on and then I look back and I’m like…shit I made him cum twice and I didn’t!) he was smart and charming and good looking but I just didn’t feel that spark. Also never get dick pics off a photographer! They sure know how to work their angles…talk about black pudding in pictures and rice pudding in the flesh!

Anyway I’ve gone back to serial sexting and natural selection. (Don’t tell the crazy ex pornstar!) the main contenders are: 

Hot but dull: cute face, no personality. I fear he might not make it much further unless he livens up. 

Ginger #4: trying to work my way through all the gingers til I can find one that can finally make me cum…come on #4

Backstage pass: let me explain the name, I made a joke about giving him a backstage pass to my mermaid show (which is literally just me in the bath!) kinda sounded like I was inviting him for anal…sometimes I’m rubbish at flirting. 

Dave: he’s one of my OG contacts! Finally spoke on the phone after literally 2 years of texting, our schedules never lined up and I had a boyfriend and then he went travelling etc etc. Hes cute and fun. Kinda get the feeling I’d eat him alive but we ll see! 

Let’s see which of these animals make it to the jungle…oh god that sounds sooo wrong!