I’ve seen this going around on blogs and twitter before so thought it would be fun to do. Seeing as I did something similar in my 31 day blog challenge I thought I would get X to write my facts for me….eek!
1. Owns 70x more pairs of shoes than plates.
T’is true! I had a genius idea of getting rid of all of my plates but one so I didn’t have to do the washing up. Kinda forgot about the part of having guests over. Also I have a lot of shoes!
2. Isn’t allowed energy drinks, ever.
They make me shimmy, get super sexual and weird. This also applies if I have any sugar/alcohol.
3. Needs a filter for her words not her pictures.
Yep. Someone needs to make that app pronto.
4. Would be the Negan of any future zombie apocalypse.
I asked him if this was a compliment and he replied ‘ I think you would build a society of underlings’ yeah pretty much.
5. Adds a gherkin to everything.
6. Likes bacon in milkshakes.
7. Had never listened to Straight Outta Compton until literally sat in front of Ice Cube.
Erm…thanks for digging me out X! Yeah so that happened…X won a competition so we went to Twitter head quarters for a Q&A session with the cast members of Straight Outta Compton. I think everyone else was a mega fan but I mainly enjoyed the fact that Cube had the same trainers as me! I like shoes ok?!
I was thinking that I might ask the Scientist to do one of these for me as well. I think the facts might be slightly cuter….
One of the most annoying things ever online dating is on Tinder when you see a really hot guy as you swipe you're already imagining your life together, planning the wedding, naming the kids and what colour pug you want (or in my case what positions were going to be doing!) and yay he swipes back!….but then you start to message and he's dry AF and his spelling is all off.
The disappointment is real.
So I’m starting to find some men just straight up embarrassing! There’s been two separate instances this week that have been laughable.
Firstly I got a message on snapchat saying that this person had seen me on POF, I asked him to send me a picture, he wasn’t my type so I left it. He kept sending me messages which I ignored until I got one that said I must be a member of the EDL! Number 1, I had to double check what the EDL was as I first thought he meant EDF due to my sparky personality and Number 2, I didn’t reply to him because he was chubby and wearing a shiny suit, nothing down to the fact he was Indian! Just because I didn’t like you poppet doesn’t mean I’m leading the counter Jihad fight it just means you’re not my type!
Secondly there was Mr Peck, yes I’m using his real name as he’s not interesting enough to have a nickname. He slid into my Twitter DMs, he seemed quite cool until he kept saying really sexual stuff that was just a bit creepy even though I wasn’t giving anything back he kept going but the final straw was when I corrected him on his use of the word ‘of’ and not ‘have’ just a simple joke that I would use on any one that was illiterate enough to think it’s ‘should of’ but Peck kicked off massively said I was a snooty cow and that this was why men only wanted to fuck me because I couldn’t be civil!…oh dear! Well clearly he’s a massive crazy so I blocked him. SHOULD HAVE done it sooner to be honest after he was text pestering me.
Come on dudes you’re embarrassing yourselves! Please learn to take a hint and if it doesn’t go your way just let it go! The only league I’m joining at the moment is the one of unextraordinary gentlemen!
Day 13 of the 31 day blog challenge:
Now I don’t want to go in too deep with this but I had a shitty childhood and blanked out a lot of early memories so I’m going to take day 13 back to the roots of this blog and post about my earliest memory from online and talk about my first date.
I think I’ve mentioned him very briefly in this blog before and even used his real name…can’t believe I actually used to do that. So this ones for you Ross.
Ross was the first guy from tinder that I ever really enjoyed sexting. I always used to get really cringed out about it before. But there was something about him that used to turn me on so much that I even had a work wank once (it’s ok it wasn’t at my current job for any work colleagues who are reading this!) looking back he wasn’t really my type looks wise too conventionally handsome. In real life he was quite short so looked really young.
For our date we went to a local pub and what can I say? There was zero chemistry and Ross was quite dull. I remember his best story being ‘I almost joined the navy once’. To be honest I wasn’t much better seeing this was back in the day where I used to get nervous over dates I think I was quite mean and standoffish because when I get nervous it comes out as aggression. Any way fast forward to the end of the date and Ross dropping me back to my friends house. (I was really close to this person at the time and wanted to tell her all about how my first ever tinder date went) this is the major cringe part. We got to the goodbyes and he ran his hand up my thigh. I panicked knocked his hand away and I for the love of all that is holy I don’t know why I did this but I then patted him on the head and said ‘night night Ross’ like a dog. I actually patted him on the head. Possibly the most patronising thing you could ever do.
That same evening I remember little Ross trying to get the sex talk in again but the days of work wanks were over and the moment had well and truly gone. Obviously the deleting and blocking came next.
Clearly I’m a glutton for punishment as surprisingly this didn’t put me off and I’m still here soldiering on. Actually it’s ironic because recently I have been sexting a really really pretty man who comes across quite dull but he’s so beautiful he gets me off. I promise that if it ever gets to the date stage I won’t be patting this fella on the head!