Saturday thoughts.

One of the most annoying things ever online dating is on Tinder when you see a really hot guy as you swipe you're already imagining your life together, planning the wedding, naming the kids and what colour pug you want (or in my case what positions were going to be doing!) and yay he swipes back!….but then you start to message and he's dry AF and his spelling is all off.

The disappointment is real.

Advertisements

EmbarrassMANt.

So I’m starting to find some men just  straight up embarrassing! There’s been two separate instances this week that have been laughable. 

Firstly I got a message on snapchat saying that this person had seen me on POF, I asked him to send me a picture, he wasn’t my type so I left it. He kept sending me messages which I ignored until I got one that said I must be a member of the EDL! Number 1, I had to double check what the EDL was as I first thought he meant EDF due to my sparky personality and Number 2, I didn’t reply to him because he was chubby and wearing a shiny suit, nothing down to the fact he was Indian! Just because I didn’t like you poppet doesn’t mean I’m leading the counter Jihad fight it just means you’re not my type! 

Secondly there was Mr Peck, yes I’m using his real name as he’s not interesting enough to have a nickname. He slid into my Twitter DMs, he seemed quite cool until he kept saying really sexual stuff that was just a bit creepy even though I wasn’t giving anything back he kept going but the final straw was when I corrected him on his use of the word ‘of’ and not ‘have’ just a simple joke that I would use on any one that was illiterate enough to think it’s ‘should of’ but Peck kicked off massively said I was a snooty cow and that this was why men only wanted to fuck me because I couldn’t be civil!…oh dear! Well clearly he’s a massive crazy so I blocked him. SHOULD HAVE done it sooner to be honest after he was text pestering me. 

Come on dudes you’re embarrassing yourselves! Please learn to take a hint and if it doesn’t go your way just let it go! The only league I’m joining at the moment is the one of unextraordinary gentlemen! 

My earliest memory. 

Day 13 of the 31 day blog challenge: 

Now I don’t want to go in too deep with this but I had a shitty childhood and blanked out a lot of early memories so I’m going to take day 13 back to the roots of this blog and post about my earliest memory from online and talk about my first date. 

I think I’ve mentioned him very briefly in this blog before and even used his real name…can’t believe I actually used to do that. So this ones for you Ross. 

Ross was the first guy from tinder that I ever really enjoyed sexting. I always used to get really cringed out about it before. But there was something about him that used to turn me on so much that I even had a work wank once (it’s ok it wasn’t at my current job for any work colleagues who are reading this!) looking back he wasn’t really my type looks wise too conventionally handsome. In real life he was quite short so looked really young. 

For our date we went to a local pub and what can I say? There was zero chemistry and Ross was quite dull. I remember his best story being ‘I almost joined the navy once’. To be honest I wasn’t much better seeing this was back in the day where I used to get nervous over dates I think I was quite mean and standoffish because when I get nervous it comes out as aggression. Any way fast forward to the end of the date and Ross dropping me back to my friends house. (I was really close to this person at the time and wanted to tell her all about how my first ever tinder date went) this is the major cringe part. We got to the goodbyes and he ran his hand up my thigh. I panicked knocked his hand away and I for the love of all that is holy I don’t know why I did this but I then patted him on the head and said ‘night night Ross’ like a dog. I actually patted him on the head. Possibly the most patronising thing you could ever do. 

That same evening I remember little Ross trying to get the sex talk in again but the days of work wanks were over and the moment had well and truly gone. Obviously the deleting and blocking came next. 

Clearly I’m a glutton for punishment as surprisingly this didn’t put me off and I’m still here soldiering on. Actually it’s ironic because recently I have been sexting a really really pretty man who comes across quite dull but he’s so beautiful he gets me off. I promise that if it ever gets to the date stage I won’t be patting this fella on the head!