31 day blog challenge, me, my life, throwback, 2017

An old photo of me and the story behind it.

Day 8 of the 31 day blog challenge.

I think I’m going to go quite deep with this post and show you a picture of me from this time last year and talk about where I was at. I don’t smile in pictures due to my hamster cheeks but quite frankly I was miserable! Last year started off with a hideous sexual experience and that shaped my entire year. I was really down and my anxiety was high. I was constantly swiping on those apps trying to find someone/ anyone to block out what had happened and this lead to me making some really bad decisions. Mentally it was tough and physically it was draining.

At the end of the year it all changed for me and I finally fell in love and I’m happy. I realised that even though what happened to me last year was the worst and all those things I did to forget it has lead me to The Scientist and being in the most happy and positive relationship of my life. Shit can turn around and I’m so excited for this year!

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dating, relationship, christmas, my life

It’s Christmas time….

So things are still going well with The Scientist, actually they are going amazingly well! It just gets better every time I see him and we spend time together. Yesterday I literally had, hands down my best sexual experience ever with him or anyone. Sorry for gushing (literally in this case!) but I guess this is what happens when you have sex with feelings right? Wish someone could have told me about this before.

I know it’s not all about the sex though and it’s all the moments in between bit those are great as well.

I cocked up massively though, we exchanged Christmas presents and me being the grade A bellpiece I am thought it would be funny to get him a kids chemistry set seeing as he’s a scientist after all so there’s me chortling away at my genius and he hands me a slim box, at this moment I’m hoping it’s something lame so I can claw this back but no it’s a beautiful Murano glass rose from Venice. I told him ages ago how I thought glass blowing was beautiful. I was so touched by this. The fact the present was seriously lovely and the fact he had listened to me. I felt so bad though. I got him a chemistry set. A fucking chemistry set. He saw the funny side and got excited about doing experiments with me! Please tell me what I’ve done to deserve him? He also made me a card. A pop up card. Gushing ridiculously hard right now.

We have plans to spend new year together and I really can’t wait to see 2018 in being in a happy and solid relationship. I’m still pinching myself.

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XXX

So I reached the point where I had to tell The Scientist about X. To be honest I’ve been having anxiety about it seeing as I don’t want to do anything to fuck this up.

The X thing has gone so many different ways, some don’t care (or act like they don’t!) some openly admit they hate it and then there was the one who said ‘yeah, you’re not allowed to be friends with him any more!’ EXCUSE ME?!

The Scientist brought it up as we were having a conversation that went like this:

The Scientist: ‘I have no jealousy when it comes to X’

Me: ‘you shouldn’t, but why?’

The Scientist: ‘because he’s gay, Tanya!’

Me: ‘erm….WHAT?!’

So after that I had to fully disclose. The Scientist being the absolute sweetheart he is said that he trusts me and it’s ok.

He literally has nothing to worry about. I’m really into him and am fully aware of how lucky I am.

X will always be in my life as he’s my best friend and of course I love him but ‘friend’ is always the operative word.

I’m glad that’s another hurdle that we’ve gotten over and it’s ok. He’s the second person to think X is gay though! Makes me chortle so hard. I’ve told him about carrying that tote bag…..

Dating, me, my life

One month later.

It’s been a whole month since my first date with The Scientist and things are still going great, he has such a good energy that I can be entirely myself around him.

I’m still excited about this as I was after date one. We’ve just spent another blissful weekend together. For the first time we didn’t really leave the house and it was great! All of the amazing sex aside I really enjoyed the moments we spent together (albeit naked) just talking and being silly.

I honestly feel so lucky and grateful that we’ve found each other.

Me, my life

7 facts about Me.

I’ve seen this going around on blogs and twitter before so thought it would be fun to do. Seeing as I did something similar in my 31 day blog challenge I thought I would get X to write my facts for me….eek!

1. Owns 70x more pairs of shoes than plates.

T’is true! I had a genius idea of getting rid of all of my plates but one so I didn’t have to do the washing up. Kinda forgot about the part of having guests over. Also I have a lot of shoes!

2. Isn’t allowed energy drinks, ever.

They make me shimmy, get super sexual and weird. This also applies if I have any sugar/alcohol.

3. Needs a filter for her words not her pictures.

Yep. Someone needs to make that app pronto.

4. Would be the Negan of any future zombie apocalypse.

I asked him if this was a compliment and he replied ‘ I think you would build a society of underlings’ yeah pretty much.

5. Adds a gherkin to everything.

Because gherkins.

6. Likes bacon in milkshakes.

Because bacon.

7. Had never listened to Straight Outta Compton until literally sat in front of Ice Cube.

Erm…thanks for digging me out X! Yeah so that happened…X won a competition so we went to Twitter head quarters for a Q&A session with the cast members of Straight Outta Compton. I think everyone else was a mega fan but I mainly enjoyed the fact that Cube had the same trainers as me! I like shoes ok?!

I was thinking that I might ask the Scientist to do one of these for me as well. I think the facts might be slightly cuter….

Dating, online dating, me, my life

Happiness.

So I’ve spent my third consecutive weekend with The Scientist and…oh god…. let’s not make a big deal out of this, but the apps are gone annnnnnd I have a boyfriend…sssh. I’m cringing hard right now but I’m also happy.

I have these wobbles thinking where’s the drama? Why isn’t there any tension? Why isn’t he a massive twat? Why am I not winding him up and pressing his buttons? I know it’s crazy but that’s the way relationships have always gone for me.

I like that we’re polar opposites, he’s the vicars son and I’m the spawn of Satan. I don’t recognise myself with him as I’m so sweet and cringey but for some reason it just fits, were so comfortable and never stop laughing but then there’s the whole other side where we can’t even make it through a tv programme without having amazing sex. He just makes me happy.

We had an awkward moment in the supermarket the other day, we high fived each other as we found our fave pasta and the sales assistant was watching and putting stock out was like ‘aww you’re in love!’ Erm….it’s the third date, steady on Susan! I don’t think I’ve ever blushed so hard in my life!

So yeah….I’m happy with him and it feels good. Unusual for a lone wolf like me but good.

Dating, online dating, me, my life

Sex and Scrabble.

So I’ve spent another weekend with The Scientist. And it was another weekend full of sex, laughs, kisses, snuggles and all that other cute and cringy stuff that is probably making everyone vomit right now. We even played Scrabble annnnd I beat him by 30 points…but we don’t talk about that. 30 POINTS though!

I like how when we hang out it’s so comfortable and we spend the whole time together laughing. I have zero anxiety when I’m with him, in fact the only anxiety I have at the moment is being anxious about not being anxious!