Get laid or die swiping. 

I feel like I haven’t blogged in ages! Usually when this happens it’s for one of two reasons, I’m having amazing sex so don’t have the time or the love lull is continuing…unfortunately it’s the second one. 

I still don’t feel like I’ve connected with anyone since con man Nathan (oh shit I’ve used his real name!) if I swipe any harder my thumb will fall off and although that was all bullshit it’s scared me and put me off dating. I’ve been asked out a few times and I’ve just lied to get out of it. I HAVE to get over this! This isn’t me! I love going on dates but the last three have killed my confidence. I can’t have the boring Liverpool guy who grilled me over this blog and X, or the boring New Year’s Eve guy who made me feel uncomfortable or the guy who was a fucking conman! Just one disaster after another. 

Randomly I am still talking to Mr Wright part deux despite my previous blog. Every time I think I should call it a day he claws his way back in. To be honest, it’s me. If I’m mean about him or point out silly things I don’t like about him then I can convince myself I don’t fancy him and then I don’t have to go out with him. I can stay at home and save myself from a disastrous date.

I’m just not feeling myself at the moment. Literally. It’s got so bad that I’m not even feeling myself at the moment. The end of the world is upon us! Tanya has lost her horn. This never ever happens. I haven’t had sex in a month so usually my lady boner is raging but no…nothing. I have sexted Mr Wright reloaded but I haven’t had any explosions.

That’s also why I’m reluctant to go out with him, all my own issues aside, I just don’t get butterflies texting him, I know it’s hokey and sentimental but I don’t want to settle for anything less.

I know something else that’s also holding me back. The last time I had sex it was…erm…different and not very nice. Having sex high and drunk was a mistake, having sex with an Internet “friend” who I didn’t fancy and didn’t fancy me was a massive mistake! Just because we were both horny/ sad/ lonely is not a good reason to fuck and makes you feel shit after. This is a mistake I repeatedly make. I was looking back and realised I’ve actually only fancied three people who I’ve slept with whilst I’ve been doing this dating marlarky. 

Aaarrrrggghhh it’s no wonder I’ve lost my horn eh? Mr Wright II is meant to phone me tonight for the first time wonder if I will actually pick up? We clash a fair bit on text and I don’t think it’s down to sexual tension. 

This was meant to be my year of love…I’ve still got 10 and a half months to go, it’s going to happen! Look at me being all positive. What a dickhead. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s