My earliest memory. 

Day 13 of the 31 day blog challenge: 

Now I don’t want to go in too deep with this but I had a shitty childhood and blanked out a lot of early memories so I’m going to take day 13 back to the roots of this blog and post about my earliest memory from online and talk about my first date. 

I think I’ve mentioned him very briefly in this blog before and even used his real name…can’t believe I actually used to do that. So this ones for you Ross. 

Ross was the first guy from tinder that I ever really enjoyed sexting. I always used to get really cringed out about it before. But there was something about him that used to turn me on so much that I even had a work wank once (it’s ok it wasn’t at my current job for any work colleagues who are reading this!) looking back he wasn’t really my type looks wise too conventionally handsome. In real life he was quite short so looked really young. 

For our date we went to a local pub and what can I say? There was zero chemistry and Ross was quite dull. I remember his best story being ‘I almost joined the navy once’. To be honest I wasn’t much better seeing this was back in the day where I used to get nervous over dates I think I was quite mean and standoffish because when I get nervous it comes out as aggression. Any way fast forward to the end of the date and Ross dropping me back to my friends house. (I was really close to this person at the time and wanted to tell her all about how my first ever tinder date went) this is the major cringe part. We got to the goodbyes and he ran his hand up my thigh. I panicked knocked his hand away and I for the love of all that is holy I don’t know why I did this but I then patted him on the head and said ‘night night Ross’ like a dog. I actually patted him on the head. Possibly the most patronising thing you could ever do. 

That same evening I remember little Ross trying to get the sex talk in again but the days of work wanks were over and the moment had well and truly gone. Obviously the deleting and blocking came next. 

Clearly I’m a glutton for punishment as surprisingly this didn’t put me off and I’m still here soldiering on. Actually it’s ironic because recently I have been sexting a really really pretty man who comes across quite dull but he’s so beautiful he gets me off. I promise that if it ever gets to the date stage I won’t be patting this fella on the head! 

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