Shattered but not broken. 

Some of you may have noticed a blog I posted a week or so called butterflies has now been deleted and here’s why….

So I was texting a guy…let’s call him John and we were getting on amazingly well and yes he gave me butterflies which is what I was looking for. We were all on course to go out on Saturday until yesterday. I had some major reservations about this guy, he has three kids for a start. I mean there’s baggage and then there’s Heathrow Terminal 5 style baggage! Anyway he won me over on text so I carried on talking to him. We spoke on the phone once but I didn’t feel a massive spark and felt quite deflated by the phone call. But once again I remembered his texts and carried on chatting. 

Yesterday was my day off work so I was bored and something was niggling in the back of my mind to Google this guy because he seemed to good to be true. If you’ve read this blog before you will know this isn’t something I do. I like to take people for face value and believe what they say. So here I am typing in his name and what he does for a living, I see a link to Twitter and some a few comments that he’s scammed some people and done a runner with their money. He’s a DJ so has taken payments but not turned up. This was two comments so I was all prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt until I typed his name into Facebook….there was a page set up saying avoid his company like the plague and he had scammed over 20 people owing thousands and thousands of pounds….gobsmacked. 

After all this I obviously blocked him. I feel so lucky that we didn’t go on a date and things went further and so sorry for all the people he a stolen from. 

Am I upset by this? Of course. I felt I let my barriers down with this guy and everything he told me was clearly bullshit. I like to think I am quite savvy after doing this for so long but I did start to like him. I think the timing of him contacting me is part of it. We all know I’ve had a massive meh streak and been quite down by this dating marlarky because usually if I see a man with kids I will never reply. 
I have to give dating a break until new year just to get my head around some stuff. It’s really annoying though because throughout talking to John I was also talking to wheels and we were flirting and being silly and getting on so well but now my barriers are higher than ever and I’m too scared to go out with him. Has this broken me? No. but I’m shattered, emotionally and physically by it all. This year has kicked me in the balls dating wise.

Merry fucking Christmas.

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