Dating, online dating, sex, funny, standards, men, women, humour

What’s the story morning glory?

This morning I was rudely awoken by an old tinder contact telling me he had an erection….do I care? No! 

I’ve known this guy since I’ve been doing this shit and yes we’ve sent videos and pictures of the racy kind before but I haven’t spoken to him in months and he thinks it’s ok to randomly hit me up and tell me he has a boner? Erm ok. Just because I’ve been and bored horny and entertained him before I’m trying to evolve doing this and I think I’ve just gotten past having a whatsapp wank with a stranger. I don’t think he’s someone I would ever date so there’s no point in helping him masturbate! (Ooh I’m a dirty poet and I know it!) 

So lads just because your dick has raised in the morning leave me out of it, because you know what else has raised? My standards. 


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