Dating, online dating, sex, relationships, funny, olympics, men, women, him, her

Teezy Olympics 2016

4 men, one race to win Teezys heart (or get in her pants!) 

So before I spread my legs I’ve been spreading my wings and talking to multiple guys again. It’s all going down in Rio but these are the guys I want to go down on me:

Mr Scouse: Cute as all holy fuck! We met on Snapchat. I got retweeted by POF Fails and this dude saw me and found my snap on my Twitter. He’s only 23 but is way more mature than recent fucktards who I’ve let inside me. One problem is and you may have guessed this by his name is he lives near Liverpool which is miles away! We would have been on a date by now if it hadn’t been for that. It’s soooooo annoying! Why does that fat little cheruby bastard Cupid hate me? 

Aled Jones: All together now ‘we’re wallllking in the aiiiiirrrrrr’ I’m fucking with you. No I’m not seeing the Welsh one hit wonder. This guys name is based on his whatsapp name which looks like Aled Jones and my mind is wierd.  That aside he’s hot and funny. Sex wise he’s on my level, intellectually probably a few levels up but smart turns me on so I ll just have to read The Guardian if it gets to the date stage. 

Cobbles: He’s a cobbler! Are they still called that? Anyway he makes custom shoes. That alone is enough to cause a tsunami in my knickers! He’s hot. Not particularly funny and I don’t feel a massive connection to him but maybe that’s yet to come. 

Tiger Woods: He likes golf and that’s the only golfer I know! Again I don’t feel a massive connection with him and some others have held my interest more. I think location has worked against him, I’ve dated people from his hometown before and they’ve all been meh…Leighton Buzzard, you’ve got to up your game. He’s quite cute. Haven’t seen much personality but I get it that some people are shit texters. 

I’m not going to show all my cards and tell you who’s coming in first at this stage because I’ve done this before and it can change at any moment. 

In other news I’m so excited and happy to be chatting to these guys and potentially meet them. It’s weird to feel this way again after the literally feeling anything but over the last two months. Those months were completely wasteful but least I know exactly what I don’t want! 

I wonder who’s going to come out on top? (Of me!) 


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