I’ve been holding back for a few days to publish this but things are so done with Mr Wright.
I don’t even know where to begin…I guess it was the fact that I felt I turned into his physchotherapist rather than someone who I occasionally wanted to fuck. I’ve never met anyone before that could not relax and just have fun! He brought drama at every turn and sucked the fun out of everything.
Now I have issues of my own don’t get me wrong I’m so far from perfect but I feel I’ve massively let my self down and have let this guy treat me like shit because deep down I feel that I don’t deserve anything better. Well you know what? I do. I literally went out of my way to make him feel good as I knew he had issues. I guess the lines for casual sex got blurred. I know I can do it, the way he treated me and made me feel over the last couple of weeks I knew that he was the complete opposite to what I would ever want in a boyfriend so I was only in it for the sex and even that got dissapointing, the last time we met up I made him cum 4 times in one evening and you know how many times he did me? None! I think I was beginning to realise that I’d stopped liking him and I couldn’t let myself go.
I honestly don’t know why I let it drag on this long? I think I felt that it was better to have something than nothing. But it got to the point where that something has worn me down and destroyed me a little bit.
I had feelings for him when I was with him, I’m not going to deny that. But when I wasn’t, I didn’t care. I spoke to X about this and he said that it’s because I had no time to think when we were together and that’s true. When you’ve just spent the entire evening having amazing sex the rose tinted glassss are definitely on! After the first month or so I know those feelings could have grown but after the way he was they just slowly got shut off and all I thought about was having sex.
So what’s next? Before this ended I Re activated my dating accounts. It wasn’t like when I was with kermie and knew that it was something and deleted them straight away. I never felt that way about Wright, that probably should have told me something from the beginning! I’ve started chatting to different people again and getting that exciting buzz of learning about a new person. I need to get my sparkle back which Wright has dulled a bit. He’s made me feel incredibly shit about myself but I know I can get over that, I’ve gotten over much worse!