The 7 month itch. 

So we’re over half way through the year! Eek how the fuck did that happen?! Once again I have spent my time fucking around and basically just wasting my time which I realised after my contacts purge the other day. Here are the main contenders that have blown over half the year with me: 

X: Dont consider this a time waster for obvious reasons but he’s been the most consistent over the last year and a half. 

Mr I’m so famous white rapper: firstly I’d never heard of him and I’m an OG, secondly the whole thing started off with sexting…Romeo and Juliet shit right there! You know if Jules liked fisting. He apparently went on tour with Eminem, stuff like that doesn’t impress me unless he was actually Eminem but then again bleach blondes aren’t my type and em always seems a little angry? Any way we sexted for about a month and he called me a douche when I didn’t go out with him because I had another date. How does that make me a douche? Honesty is the best policy! Wonder if he ever wrote an angry rap about me? What rhymes with Tanya? Banana? 

Mr Jimmy cumquickly: I ll make this one quick just like he was. I kissed him and he came in his pants. That. Is. All. 

The Teacher: this is a weird one as it didn’t end badly or quickly but I always got the feeling he was kinda into guys. He said he had some experience with cock but I think he wanted more. I’m good but I can’t compete with cock! He was fun and we had some nice phone conversations but he wasn’t very me. I remember when I was at my friends house, This guy is a wannabe drag queen so I was trying on all the wigs and sending them to the teacher and he came back with ‘maybe you can dress me up one day? Oh poppet I want a boyfriend not a Barbie! 

All the other guys I’ve blogged about before or they aren’t even worth blogging about. I guess not being active online dating means I can stop wasting my time on these dudes and concentrate on myself for a while. Least I can rap, don’t prematurely ejaculate and I also very much like cock! Prince Charming are you there? I’d even settle for Dick Whittington! 

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