So I’ve been asked out on a lot of dates recently and my biggest ever pet peeve is when the dude turns around and says ‘you decide where to go….’ Erm no poppet you asked me out you nut up and decide where you’re going to take me! There’s nothing sexier than confidence so even if I wasn’t 100% on the idea that they came out with I would still go for the fact they made the effort deciding what we would do.
Whilst I’m here I ll let you in on some other tips…men get a pen and paper ready….always remember OAP..erm this isn’t about dating nannas by the way!
Outfit: Yes I will be judging you on what you wear! The first thing I notice will be your shoes so make sure you are wearing some decent kicks.
Alcohol: I’m pretty confident and chatty so I don’t really need drinks to loosen me up but if you do then that’s cool, although one of the worst dates I ever went on was when the dude was blatantly so nervous he got very very drunk and I had to make sure he got home ok, he turned into the drunk person on the tube who you would avoid but I had to sit next to him, then he tried to kiss me…chill ya boots there boozy, youve embarrassed yourself enough! So don’t get pissed fellas!
Paying: I’m a strong independent woman and all that other bull shit so I don’t need a man to pay for me but I can’t lie it’s nice when they do, so come on guys make the effort and say it from the outset that you’re paying as it saves awkwardness later and hellllllooo lobster and caviar for Teezy!
So I’ve checked out your brogues, I’m not holding you up and I’m full from ordering the most expensive thing on the menu so what comes next? (obviously you if you play your cards right! BOOM!) we’ve reached the end of the night awkwardness….I have no qualms about doing bits and pieces on a first date if it feels right but you’ve got to read the signs! The best date I ever went on the guy kissed me half an hour in and didn’t stop which I loved but then there’s also the ones that try their luck like captain boring who ran his hand up my thigh after making me fall asleep with his dull tales, that date ended with him getting his head patted. No you haven’t read that wrong, I. Patted. His. Head. I panicked and that’s what my hands decided to do! So men of this world if you want a different head patted it’s probs best to follow OAP!