So I thought I had pretty much covered all levels of cringe with this online dating malarkey but last night I reached the pinnacle….drum roll please..THE RECYCLED DICK PIC!
I had been talking to Mr Reusable for a week or so, he was exactly my type looks wise, didn’t seem to have much of a personality but his amazing hair made up for it! We were getting on pretty well and things obviously turned sexual, we were playing about and then bam helllloooooo penis shot! He said he was out so I knew it wasn’t recent and this is where the cringe crept in, #1 this guy is going around with a picture of his own dick on his phone! It’s not like he can’t see it every day and #2 he had obviously had the same sort of fun with another girl and made himself hard for her and thinks it’s ok to send it to me? Nah mate! If you’re going to dick pic me least have the decency to send it just to me.
Maybe he is a super environmentalist and is worried about his carbon cockprint? Not being funny but the picture he sent me wouldn’t even make a prick in the ozone layer (pun very much intended!) let alone a hole, any way he’s blown any chance of ever getting near my recycle bin and it’s a very good bin as well. I always separate my glass from my plastics….yeah I’m not even sure what that means!