What’s in a user name? 

Now I haven’t had a rant since my blog about set types of profile pictures but I’ve also got another pet peeve…drum roll please….user names! 

Before I begin to slag off the boys I will start in telling you that my own username for most online dating sites is cutiecupcake, yes I’m fully aware this is ridiculous! In my defence, when I started on these sites I signed up when I was a little bit drunk and didn’t realise that you couldn’t change it at a later date, it also relates to a tattoo I have…oh and the fact that I’m a massive cutie obviously 😉 but it also opens me up (there’s a joke in there somewhere!) for the obvious ‘I ll be the filling in your cupcake’ ‘you’re so sweet’ opening messages.

Back to the boys. My top four biggest turn off are as follows:

MRGREY69* Just because you may have lightly tapped someone’s ass once does not make you Christian Grey! You may have read the shitty book or watched the shitty movie and think that some millionaire with mummy issues and a room with a few toys in it is every woman’s fantasy well it’s not! Be more original fellas. 

*Jamie Dornan this doesn’t apply to you even though you let yourself down being in that shitty movie if I ever found you on pof feel free to call yourself whatever you like because damn boy….sorry I digress…

CHEEKYLAD2016 These are the type of lads who call themselves lads and will snap chat you a picture of their dick as soon as you hand over your deets, will definitely have a picture of their weekend in Ibiza and will prbly use txt spk, also their idea of a first date will be to go for a ‘cheeky’ nandos. No just no. 

BIGDICK Oh wow you have oversized genitalia….go you! Remind me to thank your parents. 

MANOFYOURDREAMS most likely to have an inspirational quote and a heavily filtered profile picture. Will definitely mention how he’s not just after sex and how he’s different to every other man. Pretty much the MANOFMYNIGHTMARES 

In recent months the best worst user name I have come across is MrTesticles…..catchy!

Now boys unless you can come up with something dead original and funny then please just use your name and some numbers (not 69!) as your user name, it’s simple and will save me having to ask your name when we’re sexting later. 

Mr testicles I apologise whole heartedly if this is actually your real surname and I have just insulted your entire family heritage. 

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