So I’ve noticed a recurring theme whilst I’m online dating regarding pictures, men can be summed up into these categories:
The picture of my car guy: ok so you drive a BMW? That don’t impress me much! Never been someone who cares about a persons job or car so this is an automatic (ooh I just used a car pun!) left swipe unless you actually are a transformer then I’m sorry, but I’ve never wanted to have sex with a BMW.
The I’ve been to Ibiza guy: Under no circumstance ever will I swipe right for a long line vest, shorts, huarache wearing suntanned doucheball who claims that he loves ‘travelling’ when all he’s ever done is got pissed and caught herpes from a two week jolly in Ibiza!
The drugged up tiger guy. I’m not even that much of an animal lover but am I attracted to a guy who goes to Thailand and takes a selfie with a poor tiger that’s smacked off its tits? No. Just no. Leave poor Tony alone fellas!
The over filtered guy: Even I feel bad about this one because I haven’t been seen without at least one filter since 2012 but I’m sure some guys get professional pictures taken for online dating sites. Do I really want to see you reclining up against a tree with your face completely airbrushed? No thank you.
The gym selfie guy: one word: repulsive.
The married guy: This is the most confusing to me…. Why on earth would you post pictures of your wedding to try and attract women? Fair enough if you’ve been married before but never do I ever want to see pictures of you cutting your wedding cake or having your first dance as my first impression of you it’s just wierd.
And finally….The I’ve caught a big fish guy: Holding a big ass carp like it’s your long lost love is not sexy! You are not a catch, I could never sea myself with you….ok I ll stop now.