Sex, love, dating, online dating, romance, confessions, funny


So I ran into another pof contact last night this keeps happening…got me to thinking about all the people online who I have met this year and stuff that has happened, I’ve never really gone into too much detail probably through fear of being judged but this is my blog and these are my confessions….

Where to begin? Let’s start with the latest through to the others who have stood out. 

X (didn’t meet online but significant nonetheless!) the best dressed man I’ve ever come across, or who’s ever come across me (sorry!) my best friend, my boody, my beloved, captain of foreplay with magical hands, usually sustains an injury during sex, has the best hair and beard combo ever and literally one of my favourite people on the planet! 

Kermie Best sex I ever had, never had such a strong sexual connection with anyone like that before, we kissed within an hour of our first date and didn’t stop. His circumstances may have made him into a fucking nightmare but part of me wishes we could have bonus night…yes I miss his penis and yes he is a huge twat but he sure knew his way around one! Cockiest man I ever knew, part of me liked that about him but part of me was just like seriously? Looking back he wasn’t really fully my type as he was a bit chavvy (he wore tracksuit bottoms and said weird words like peak!) but something weird happened and I found all that dead sexy, he was also a people pleaser so I’m never really sure if I ever got to see the real him and if the glimpses that I did see I actually liked, but still…that penis though….

Ok this is the hardest one and this is the part where the judgement will probably start, actually it’s probably started already so here goes….

Matt probably my biggest regret of this year, we had three dates. I slept with him on the second, the sex was ok but I mainly slept with him to shut him up! He was literally the opposite to my type looks wise and personality wise, I think I was feeling down about things and tried to force feelings that weren’t there once I realised we had zilch in common (literally zilch!) I figured that maybe we could find a connection in the bedroom so instead of listening to him go on I let him go in, after all the mundane sex I had one other date with him I thought that it was less one night standy if I did so but we got to the bar and half way through the evening I realised that I would literally rather be sharing air space with anyone other than him, the most awkward moment came after though was when we had to get the bus home together as he literally lives 5 minutes from me….so kids learn to drive, actually learn that if you don’t have anything in common with someone don’t sleep with them no matter how low you feel at the time.

Before Matt I had a one month rule regarding sex but now I just see that as cutting off your nose to spite your face but during my abstinence stage Gingerballs came along, now you all know how that ended if you’ve read my previous blogs but I’ve never really explained anymore than that. I was reluctant to even start things with him as he lived really far away so I told him from the outset that it was a mistake but I guess he won me over and we ended up going on some dates, I think I fell for him over the phone and on whatsapp as we would literally spend all night talking to each other, first date was the best date I had ever had before kermie and second date we hooked up in the back of his transit (I’m even judging me for that one!) sexually though I was massively underwhelmed, I guess I was too polite to tell him that pressing on my bladder was not the way to get me off, I’m kinda glad I didn’t have sex with him as he was so bad at foreplay and didn’t have a clue so probably would have tried to stick it in my ear or something! 

I think that’s enough confessing for one evening…I’ve learnt something from each an everyone of them though 

X the meaning of true friendship 

Kermie Size does matter! 

Matt when you’re low stay off online dating websites 

Gingerballs all talk and no trousers makes for a very unsatisfied Tanya! 


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