Sex, food, funny

Dirty squirty

so I’ve been having a conversation with…let’s call him an aquaintance…and he mentioned squirty cream this made me remember an incident that happened a while back and reminded me why food and sex are never a good combo! 

So I was in bed with X (names have been changed to protect the guilty!) and for a joke I had brought some squirty cream…(until what I’m about to tell you I used to love the stuff would literally main line it into my mouth straight from the can!) i went to the toilet and as I came out X was lying stark bollock naked on my bed with his good stuff covered in whipped cream! Now this to me looked quite appetising so I went in for the kill..I think X had been a little over zealous with the cream as when I started to massage him it started to make a paste! Licking it also didn’t help…in the end we had to wipe him down with wipes…who said romance was dead?! I will never forget the smell and taste of it now for all the wrong reasons!

So quick message to anyone who thinks squirty cream is a good idea…remember folks it’s a penis and not a fucking eclair! 


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