After being bored of being single and finally getting an iPhone i decided to explore the world of Internet dating been on pof about a month now and to be honest I’m not exactly overwhelmed by what it has to offer where shall we begin?
theres been the needy guy, the cross dresser, the guy who wants to tie me up, the guy who called himself randy redneck plus plenty of others who are just a no!
The ones that have made it past the audition stage and weve swapped numbers are as follows…
nate- hot tattooed same taste in music and likes festivals had a nice chat on pof so when he gave me his number I added him on whatsapp after 4 messages he sent me a dick pic do I need to tell you that I haven’t replied since?!
Red-this guy was hot (yes I’m shallow!) didn’t have much in the way of a sense of humour but did I mention he was hot?! We were messaging back and forth for about a week and I should have realised he was a weirdo when he started bombarding me with selfies…fyi never send me a gym selfie! Yes I want to see what your abs look like but posing in the toilets with the flash on isn’t attractive! Any way one night I was bored and decided to read his profile turns out I missed the whole ‘please bare in mind I’m in a relationship section’ lesson learned: always read their profile! Rookie error anyways on to the next one…..
Rich- ok looking didn’t seem the dick pic or endless selfie type actually asked me what books I read…gasp!! then ruined it by asking when I was going to ask him out on a date….erm not the way this works poppet!
GP- now despite the fact he was wearing a red shirt and waist jacket in his profile I was happy when this guy hit me up yes it was because he’s hot! Started messaging and have once again been bombarded by selfies yes I know that people want to prove they aren’t catfishes but every morning up until this weekend (you ll find out why in a bit!) he sent me a here’s me in my bed selfie not going to lie I wasn’t complaing until gp decided to send me a hands down the pants selfie now I find things like this hilarious so I carried on messaging him and yes we got into some hardcore sexting then he mentioned a video…half of me wanted to see it out of curiosity half of me knew it would be gross anyway low and behold this Saturday morning I’ve been whatsapped a video of gp wanking for 30 seconds….yeah I’m not ok with that! Which great love story starts off with a wanking video? I’m pretty sure it was Romeo and Juliet….so bye bye gp!
Sorry lads but none of you have made it through to boot camp!
hot bald guy #1 and nice bald guy #2…..to be continued…..