September 2022

So erm……lots to update! Firstly I’m now a Mrs! Whoever says you can’t meet your soulmate on Tinder lied because I certainly did. We had a very intimate ceremony in Iceland and it was just perfect.

Secondly I’m a homeowner, well a half homeowner! After what felt like ages we finally found the most perfect cosy house. Decorating our house has really bought out my inner Kelly Hoppen or more Lawrence Lleywn Bowen as I’m a bit of a maximalist. Nothing makes me happier than shopping for our home.

So yeah a lot has happened in a year. Next we really want to become a family of 3….with a four legged fur baby! So 🤞🏻🤞🏻 that will happen for us.

September 2021

Tomorrow would have been mine and my beloveds first wedding anniversary. I would have been a Mrs for a whole year! There’s a chance we could also have been preparing or already have moved to Canada…how different life could have been eh?!

So where are we now? I never thought I’d say this but I’m writing this from Iceland! No we’ve not moved (they don’t have an urban outfitters!) Just having a non wedding anniversary holiday.

I haven’t written this blog in so long I can’t remember what I have or haven’t told you but we’ve cancelled any future weddings we had booked, there were two of them but things are still uncertain, so for us it’s not worth it. We have planned something else though, if you know me it’s been something I’ve always wanted to do so fingers, toes and anything else you can cross that happens.

House wise we’re in the late stages of buying a house but we’ve been here 50 thousand times before so our hopes aren’t up yet.

It’s been a crazy stressful wonderful weird year….so weird I went vegan! Me!! Mrs sausage lover. I’m not sure what happened there to be honest.

Anyways onward and upward (I hope!) probably will update this again in another year. I’m such a shit blogger I had to reinstall the app 😩😩

Laters x

Home is where the heart is.

This isn’t going to be another post about the *whispers* W E D D I N G don’t worry. Let’s talk about the other thing going on right now, buying a house. A couple of months ago the only thing I could compare this kinda heartbreak to is when something I really wanted sold out on ASOS but this is a whole knew level. I scroll through Rightmove with the same commitment level I used to reserve for Tinder, and seeing a nice house is just as exciting as seeing a bespectacled hot nerd except this time when it doesn’t work out it’s much harder to get back on and try again.

We’ve looked at about 10 houses now, maybe more? I’m not sure what the acceptable number is? Although I tried on 27 wedding dresses so that shows how picky I am! It has been fun nosing round, (what’s Essex’s obsession with grey crushed velvet and dining rooms?) Only 2 of them have been close to perfect. One out of budget and the other we put in an offer only to have it rejected which makes it even worse. Everyone keeps saying we will find the perfect house eventually which is nice but I’m not sure they realise my patience levels!

Getting a house with Paul is like another piece to our puzzle however cheesy that may sound. We’ve lived in 3 flats together already and even though I love our current one, anyone who rents knows that it never quite feels like home. I just want to be able to paint everything pink (I bet Pauls secretly hoping we rent forever So he doesn’t have to live in my pastel palace!) and build a nice home which is something I’ve craved forever. I’ve even got a home Instagram page set up ready to go this is how much I want this!

I’m going to do what I did to find Paul and go back to cosmic ordering. This time next year we will be living in our dream house. There you go. It’s out in the universe now. I’m the luckiest lady in the world it worked and I found my dream man please let it work for us finding our dream home.

October.

So the 20th of September came and went, it was a weird day to be honest although we managed to get through it without crying so that was a bonus! Messages from our friends and family helped as well, it was nice to know they were thinking of us even if they didn’t quite understand.

We booked a few weeks away and had an epic road trip to Wales and then Scotland which everyone knows is exactly like Bali if you squint and look at pictures of Bali! We made the most of it though and still managed to have a good time. I even climbed up a mountain! Me!! The girl who doesn’t even like climbing the stairs!

I’m so glad the date is behind us now. I’m not doing a countdown to next year or anything like that as I’m too scared to jinx it I’m just taking it day by day. It’s our 3rd year anniversary next month so I can focus on that, 3 whole years! Crazy to think how this time last year we were in New York and now the idea of a long haul flight is just terrifying. What I’ve learnt from this is even though our plans have had to dramatically change we can still have fun and there’s still no one I’d rather spend time with than him….every cloud eh?

September 2020.

“So 2020…..Its going to be the biggest most important year of our life! If I think about it too much I’m going to freak myself out. Not only do we have the wedding we’ve also got some other life changing plans that will be put into action, although I cant really talk about those yet.”

This hasn’t aged well has it?

So what was supposed to be the biggest and best year of our lives has turned into a massive cluster fuck shit show!

So 2020….where do I begin? Obviously the wedding and honeymoon have been cancelled. It breaks my heart into a million pieces even writing that. In 19 days I was meant to be shimmying down the aisle marrying the love of my life. Being a mahooooosive over thinker I had imagined a million scenarios in my head of things that could go wrong but a global pandemic wasn’t one of them!

I feel so selfish even complaining about it as people have lost everything but I can’t lie and say it hasn’t been devastating for the both of us. As the 20th approaches my anxiety is creeping up to the point where I’m pretty much a mess most days now. It’s hard to talk about with people. No one can really understand so I’m writing about it on here.

We have rebooked for August next year but we can’t get excited about it. Everyone says it will be bigger and better and I know they’re just trying to help but everything is still so up in the air I’m now just riddled with anxiety about it. This was supposed to be the happiest time in our life and it got ripped away so I can’t be optimistic right now.

I’m sorry this post has been such a Debbie downer, I’ve tried so hard to see the positives in this situation so let’s talk about the good things, Paul had to work from home for a few months which meant we spent lots and lots of quality time together and he didn’t annoy me once! Any one who knows me and my low tolerance for humans will know that’s a huge deal! Also our life changing plans have changed. We were going to look into moving to Canada after the wedding but being in lockdown and isolated from our family and friends has made me see that would have been a huge mistake! So now we plan to buy a house here and settle. Rightmove has become my new pornhub! Houses with exposed beams get me going! Looking on there everyday has helped me focus and take my mind off things even for a second.

Like most people I can’t wait for this year to be over. At the moment I’m thinking if I can just get to new year hopefully things will turn around for everyone and everything and we can all just put this year behind us. 4 months to go lads!

Blast from the past 2020 edition

I think we all agree that 2020 has been a gigantic kick in the bollocks for everyone. On some very rare occasions though some people totally deserve a good bollock kick.

So tonight I’m scrolling through my time line on twitter and I spot a tweet from a lady calling out someone for being a twitter shagger and a con man, someone who I’ve had dealings with in the past and wrote about on here https://tpcutiecupcake.wordpress.com/2016/12/18/shattered-but-not-broken/ I knew he was back a year ago when a mutual follower retweeted him and he popped up on my timeline. Obviously I was shocked to see him so had a nose at his tweets and he was exactly the same, playing the doting father. I’m not one to get involved in online drama (I know it’s hard to believe!) so I just had a scroll and completely forgot about it until tonight.

Reading back on my blog post from then, and remembering other stuff Nathan (no point in hiding his identity now) was a massive love bomber. He would literally shower me with compliments and say everything he thought I wanted to hear. Even pretending that he was the sound man for Ben Howard as I was obsessed with him at the time. At first I’m embarrassed to admit I lapped it up, not the Ben Howard stuff, even I saw through that but I thought it was cute that he wanted to impress me (I know, I know RED FLAG CENTRAL!) but he became so full on that It got to the point where it was all too much and I knew he was too good to be true and had to google him. The rest is history and all in the original blog. To see he’s still around 4 years later still pulling the same old shit is crazy! I hate to think about all the other women he’s conned is horrific. But I’m so glad they have stood up to him and outed him and he’s removed his account. I’m hoping in 3 more years I don’t see his face again and he learns from this.

There’s no vaccine for The ‘Rona yet but at least one toxic substance has been removed from 2020.

25th times a charm!

I’ve done it lads! I’ve finally found my wedding dress!!!!

After trying on 25….twentyfuckingfive I’ve finally found the one. She’s simple, yet sparkly. A statement but not too showy. Girly but not poofy and princessy. IM SOOOOOO HAPPY!!

Paul cried when he saw it (I’m not superstitious so don’t believe in the him not seeing the dress before) so that’s a good sign it’s the one!

There’s still a million and one things on the wedding list to do but I’m so glad I’ve ticked off this one!

Helllooooooo 2020!

So Christmas has been and gone (was a lovely family affair) So has new year (chilled and relaxed) and my 35th EEEEKKK birthday (amazing time with my family and oldest bff) so there’s not really much to look forward to now…..IM KIDDING! THE YEAR WE GET MARRIED IS FINALLY HERE! YES IM SHOUTING!! OR I MAY HAVE JUST REALISED IM ACCIDENTLY TYPING IN CAPS!

248 days to go! I’m still in that stage where it doesn’t feel real yet if I think about it too much it freaks me out. Sometimes it feels like its not really my life, I’m marrying the man of my dreams and then were jetting off to Bali on honeymoon… ooh have I told you all about Bali yet? IM SOOOO FREAKING EXCITED!! 9 NIGHTS IN 5* PARADISE WITH MY BELOVED. WAIT THERE… MY HUSBAND!! I KNOW IM SHOUTING AGAIN! But you see what I mean about this not feeling like its my actual life, right?

Lets move on to the not so perfect feels like real life news.. the wedding dress count is now up to 9. 9! I’ve got 5 more coming so please wish me luck. I’m trying to stay positive about it as everyone keeps saying the perfect dress is out there but I know id be saying the same to make someone feel better as well. SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME! (If I shout again I might make it come true….at this stage I’m willing to try anything!)

Reflections 2019

Once again another year is almost over and its time for my reflections post. I think I’ve been doing these for 4 years now, how crazy is that?

So how was 2019 for me? I remember the year starting off really badly with being super poorly and then having a car accident. January did me dirty to be honest. Things definitely picked up after though with lots of nice trips away including our first long haul flight together and quality time spent with my beloved. We celebrated our second anniversary.

The wedding plans have also been in full swing this year, all the invites have been sent out and the venue has been booked so there’s no going back now…not that I want to. I cant believe next year i will be writing this post as a married lady. I Hope i will also be saying that I managed to find the right dress as the current ‘dresses I’ve returned’ list is now up to 7!

What else have we done? oh yeah we’ve moved house! I love our new flat, its the best place I’ve ever lived, I still get so happy when I’m at home and can chill in my dressing room. We’ve just put our Christmas tree up, a 7ft rainbow dream!! This is only the second tree I’ve ever had so I still get really excited about this! We also launched our little business this year which is doing really well. I’m so proud of us.

So 2020…..Its going to be the biggest most important year of our life! If I think about it too much I’m going to freak myself out. Not only do we have the wedding we’ve also got some other life changing plans that will be put into action, although I cant really talk about those yet.

Anyhoo I hope you’ve all had a brilliant 2019 and have an even better 2020!

297 days to go!

I’m always such a shit blogger and forget to post on the round numbers.

So New York was a crazy trip! Including getting scammed, ending up in urgent care, seeing Danny from The Script and walking 93,000 steps. It was very memorable to say the least. It’s our first holiday together that’s been a bit of a rollarcoaster. Not between us but stuff that went on around us. Luckily we got through it….just!

Next up, wedding dresses! How many have I brought so far? 6

How many have I returned and hated? 6

Ffs. Maybe I’m just someone who looks ridiculous in long/midi/ ivory/pink/grey/embellished/embroidered dresses? It’s so annoying when you have a vision and you end up looking shit in that vision.

Oh well I guess I’ve still got 290 days to find the perfect one 😳